HUG “Human Unity Gesture”

Do you need a hug today?

When is the last time you had a hug? Wouldn’t it be great to have a hug right now from your bestie, your Mom or a great big bear hug from your Grandfather?

With all the crazy social distancing going on in the world, we have stopped a natural and intuitive form of compassionate and loving expression. A hug is universal! It requires no language to be interpreted, it can be understood by any person of any age, of any nationality, of any race. Every person on this planet understands what a hug is.

Our physical bodies are designed in a perfect way, they tell us exactly what we need to survive and thrive (food, water, movement) our bodies also build immunity to anything that plagues us. Our souls also know what they need to survive and thrive. Human contact and communication are necessary for our emotional, mental and spiritual health. Hugging is one of our soul’s primary life sources.  A hug is one of the only gestures that we share with each other around the world that is completely natural and intuitive.

We have all taken hugging completely for granted, so during this time of reflection lets have a look at what a hug truly is!

What Is a hug? A hug is a HUMAN UNITY GESTURE…it is also a gift. It is gesture that we give freely to each other. A hug can represent excitement, achievement, happiness, love, romance, grief, compassion, heartbreak, sadness, friendship, support and it can create bonding with others. Hugging expresses so many emotions it is impossible to list them all.

Physically, a hug is when we touch and embrace each other. It can be for a short or long period of time. The gesture can be friendly or intimate, but no matter how it is done, it is generally always done with the intention to make another person feel happier.

Energetically, a hug is the transfer of two people’s energy directly through the heart chakra or heart centre. It is when two people share their energy and all their feelings in the few moments where their heart centres connect. Ironically, people usually engage in a hug before they even start speaking to each other, it is the soul’s way of energetically checking in with others before opening their mouths.

 Why Do We Hug? A hug is a worldwide gesture of hello and goodbye, it means hey…I have missed you (the hello hug) and hey…. let’s see each other soon (the goodbye hug). How many hugs do you see when you travel through an airport? Lots! And why? Because as humans, we are always excited to see someone arrive or sad to see them go!

We hug to express joy, excitement, love and achievement. When we gather to express joy we hug and hug a lot! We hug at weddings, sporting events, rock concerts, raves, Burning Man, nightclubs, dance parties, pool parties and dinner parties. Really any kind of party…we freakin’ hug.

We hug when we are upset, heartbroken, depressed, grieving, stressed and confused. We all know how much we need a hug on a bad day or when we receive bad news. We hug A LOT when we end a relationship, get a divorce, lose our job or even worse, someone close to us dies! We hug a fuckin’ LOT at funerals and hospitals. Last year, one of my best friends of 25 years died from cancer. At his celebration of life, I easily hugged over 100 people. There were hugs of “omg I haven’t seen you in so long” or hugs of “I have missed you” but the underlying hug was “I understand how much you miss him; I miss him too!” When we grieve, we hug!

Recently, my girlfriend separated from her husband and a few days ago her mother passed away! It literally broke my heart not to be able to go and give her a hug. No matter how big the bouquet of flowers or how many bottles of wine were delivered to her door, there was nothing that could have compared to a big loving hug. It would have helped to take the pain away.

But, besides my personal experiences of hugging, this is the REAL reason we hug….

  1. Oxytocin (the happy drug) is a chemical in our bodies that scientists sometimes call the “cuddle hormone.” This is because its levels rise when we hug, touch, or sit close to someone else. Oxytocin also helps reduce stress! Hmmm?
  2. In a study of over 400 adults, researchers found that hugging may reduce the likelihood of a person getting sick. The participants with a greater support system were less likely to get sick. And those with the greater support system who did get sick had less severe symptoms than those with little or no support! Hmmm?
  3. According to family therapist, Virginia Satir, she states that “we need four hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” Hmmm…I wonder how those hugs are going for all the single people stuck in their homes by themselves?

Who Do We Hug? Answer: Everyone! A hug is actually more powerful and given more freely than a kiss. It has a variety of meanings, is broader in range and more easily shared. So, who do we actually hug?

Well, men hug each other…especially at a soccer or hockey game when a goal is scored! Remember how many dudes hugged each other and cried when Canada won a gold medal in hockey at the 2010 Olympics?

We hug our dogs, cats and other pets. Women hug each other all the time….that is daily.

Men and Women hug each other if they are just friends and even if they are married or in a relationship. It is perfectly acceptable for me to hug my girlfriend’s husband because we are friends. It would not be cool if I kissed him, however!

We hug our children, parents, grandparents (how much does your grandmother love a hug?).

We hug our sisters, brothers, cousins, nieces, nephews…we hug everyone in our family.

We hug our girlfriends, we hug our co-workers, we hug our teammates.

We hug Mother Nature; I know many people who have hugged trees…and God knows, if I could hug Mother Ocean I would.

I think I covered everyone we hug, which is pretty much everybody! Perhaps we hug because we are a species with a primal need to hug!

How Do We Hug? (This Is the Fun Part!)

We hug in sooooo many ways…it is totally amazing when I researched it! There is the excited, spontaneous hug where you are lifted up in the air and spun around by your lover! Yum! Yum!

What about the romantic and sexy hug, we all know that one, it starts as a hug and then leads to something else…those are really great hugs! I am sure every girl remembers the first time they got a hug from a guy and he got a boner, now those are good hug memories!

We have the dancing, jump all around hug that we get from our girlfriends when we are grooving to a really great song.

We have the big, exciting group hug by soccer, hockey and football players…basically any sweaty team when they score, they are stoked and they hug!

We have the family hug, when we sandwich each other in a hug. Then there is the big, bear hug that you get from your dad or grandfather. Plus, the sweet nurturing hug you get from your mother and grandmother.

There is also the long, deep hug. Last year, I had emergency surgery and almost died. Afterwards, I gave all my friends, clients and loved ones what I called the never-ending hug. When I saw a friend, I just hugged and hugged and I did not let go at the normal time…I just kept hugging until I cried. What was interesting about the never-ending hug is that no one ever pulled away, they just let me hug them until I was done. For me, I was expressing how much I loved them, how their love and support meant everything to me. For my friends, it was them hugging me back and expressing how grateful they were that I was still fuckin’ alive for them to hug one more time. Even as I write this, I am crying. Remembering how amazing and loving all those hugs were…and there were a lot of them.

When Do We Hug?

Well, we hug whenever we feel like it! Sometimes we hug a lot. Other times we can go days without a hug. Sometimes you come home from work and get a hug from your partner…sometimes you don’t. Some days you hug your kids, some days you want to kill them.

But a hug is not something we consciously think about doing. It is something that happens intuitively. We hug when our soul needs it, we hug when we sense that another human being needs one. It is one of the only gestures we do without consciously thinking about it first. Hugs usually just happen.


A hug speaks universally without boundaries or a language, it is understood by everyone. It requires no phone, no texting and no emojis. Ironically, is very rarely miscommunicated. A hug is the way humans share their heart energy and feelings instantly with each other, and how our souls connect with each other. It is our natural state of being and a primal need of our species.

Our physical bodies are resilient and will adapt to the world around us, however, will our souls survive if we give up our intuitive way of expressing compassion and love to the people around us? We are humans! We HUG!

Join in the Campaign to HUG the WORLD!

Show how much you HUG! Post photos of all the times in your life you have given a hug or been hugged. Hug everyone you are currently with and post those photos. Hug your dog, hug your plant, hug yourself. HUG, POST and share the HUMAN UNITY GESTURE!


Marjie Martini

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