Come as you ARE . . . 30 days of Self Love

A few months ago I was in a bit of a sex funk. In other words, I had no sex life and hadn’t gotten busy between the sheets in a LONG, LONG time. My girlfriend suggested that I take matters into my own hands, so to speak, and start loving myself with a 30-day orgasm challenge or 30 days of self love. She had done one a few years ago and it helped her heal from an autoimmune disease. As she put it . . . her husband would go to work at the office and she would go to work on loving herself.

I had never thought about whacking off every day. I mean, I masturbate a few times a week, but I never thought about making a point of doing it every single day. But then I thought, why not? It’s not like it feels horrible; it actually feels pretty awesome and it’s quick and easy. So I decided to do it! I replaced my worn out, half-busted “Rabbit” vibrator and started fresh with a new

30 days of self love

Leaf Vitality Vibrator” and let the orgasms roll in. I picked the Leaf based on my girlfriend’s recommendation, but also because it was purple (my favourite colour), packed great stimulation for both the vajayjay and the clit, and came in a cool, discreet canvas bag so the TSA agents at the airport won’t be pulling out my huge vibrator anymore and getting all red in the face. Plus, it’s environmentally friendly and contains a rechargeable lithium-polymer battery to help you reduce your carbon footprint.

Who knew you could help the environment by giving yourself a little self  lovin’?

So the challenge began! The first thing I noticed was waking up in the morning and thinking, oh yeah, I need to have an orgasm . . . sweet! Then I would reach for my handy new vibrator, which I was falling head-over-heels in love with. Badabing, badaboom! Orgasm done! Then I would get up and start my day. The first week was great; I started each day in a kick-ass, take-no-prisoners mood (ya think?). I was looking good, my skin was glowing and I felt more relaxed. Plus, people were noticing. I was receiving a ton of compliments, which is always a mood-booster, but I didn’t realize it was because of the orgasms until the following week.

Week two was a bit different. I was PMSing and experiencing the gross bloating, painful boobs and overall irritability. But I persisted, even through a few times of not feeling like getting off, but I did it. And guess what? I always felt better afterwards. Ya think??

Around day 17 I noticed that it was taking me longer to achieve orgasm, but when I did, they lasted longer and were more intense. These orgasms were not the huge release the previous ones had been, but more blissful waves of pleasure. My mental fantasies were ramping up because I needed more than just physical stimulation to reach orgasm. However, the benefits were seriously noticeable. I slept like a baby and woke up feeling well rested with tons of energy, plus I was killin’ it in my morning workouts. But the most noticeable change was that my pheromones were on fire and the boys were responding! I was getting seriously hit on; everywhere I went I was getting looks and chatted up, plus several times random drinks arrived at my table when I was out. My girlfriends where impressed, they couldn’t believe all this boy attention was because I was masturbating every day. It was the only explanation and it made sense. It’s like Murphy’s Law: you can be single forever but the second you are in a new relationship and getting laid, you always get hit on.

It was around mid-month when I decided to research the benefits of orgasm and this is what I found out:

30 days of self love

Engaging in acts of sexual expression may:

  1. Help you live longer.
  2. Lower your risk of heart disease and stroke if you have sex twice per week or more.
  3. Reduce your risk of breast cancer.
  4. Bolster your immune system.
  5. Help you sleep.
  6. Make you appear more youthful.
  7. Improve your fitness.
  8. Help protect against endometriosis.
  9. Enhance fertility.
  10. Regulate menstrual cycles.
  11. Relieve menstrual cramps.
  12. Help carry a pregnancy to full term.
  13. Relieve chronic pain.
  14. Help reduce migraine headache pain in some individuals.
  15. Improve quality of life.
  16. Reduce the risk of depression.
  17. Lower stress levels.
  18. Improve self-esteem.
  19. Improves intimacy with your partner.
  20. Help you grow spiritually.


The hardest days to whack off were during my period, which is not to say that I have never had sex when Aunt Flow has been in town. I have, but when you’re by yourself and feeling fat and gross, it’s not your first instinct to masturbate…yuck! But I persisted, and looking back, those orgasms had the best benefits because it helped with the cramping and I always felt better afterwards.

During my last week I experienced more multiple orgasms than ever before. I also stepped up my reading from romance novels to more erotica, which definitely helped get the brain fired up with some good lusty fantasies. Here are a few to start with:

Bared to You by Sylvie Day

Or my personal favourites, In Search of Cap’n Tim and Finding Cap’ Tim

You can also try this list of hot books better than Fifty Shades of Grey.

My Conclusion

So overall, I had 23 days out of 30 with an orgasm or multiple orgasms. I feel that’s a pretty good ratio. Honestly, some days I just simply forgot or was too tired. But that brings me to the bigger question. Why do we forget to do something for ourselves that makes us feel so much better? We have no problem remembering to have a glass of wine after a stressful day at work or taking a pain pill for our headaches or sore muscles. We always brush our teeth before bed no matter how tired we are, so why don’t we take the time to love ourselves a little more? Perhaps if we put personal pleasure a little higher up on our never ending “to do” lists or valued our self-love above all the love we give to others, we might just end up feeling better, being less stressed and overall, having a better outlook on life. All these benefits from that little gift inside of us . . . our orgasm! Who was it who said, our bodies are perfect in every way and possess everything we need? I’m a believer.


Marjie Martini

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