The Delusional Martini

The Tale of the Delusional Martini

As always, insight comes to me in the wee hours of the evening. On this particular evening, I was left wondering yet again, why am I here? Now this is a question that almost everyone asks but few actually want the answer to. We all say we want the answer, but in true honesty we are too scared to listen when we are given it. The biggest question for me is why do people enter our lives? Is it because they are meant to enrich our lives? Or are they meant to bring us trauma so that we will learn a lesson? Well this martini is all about lessons; the ones we would like to avoid, but we have to learn. This is a martini that makes you sit back the next day, hang your head and say, why did I do that AGAIN?!

Sometimes the greatest lessons are the ones that take years, decades and sometimes lifetimes to learn. They are usually the lessons that we avoid and delude ourselves into believing are not actually happening. That is why I was so happy to find a martini that goes right along with the lessons that I keep avoiding, because why do I really want to learn them when Delusion is so much easier?

The Delusional Martini is a heavy mother f***er that you only breakout when all others fail. It is the martini that takes you to the next level of delusion, and yes that is sometimes exactly what the psyche needs. This martini is a killer combination of Casa Noble Tequila (because it is my absolute favourite tequila), El Buho Mezcal, Metaxa Ouzo and melon liqueur. To this mixture you add a splash of cranberry and lime juice. Are you scared yet? Well, this is not a martini for rookies. This is only for serious martini drinkers, and for those who truly need to check out of their lives for an evening.

“Sometimes you just need to check out of your life for an evening!”

As you go through life, opportunities are presented to you. Some of them are life lessons that must be learned and it’s your choice whether you learn them now or later, but somewhere along the line, you must learn them. This is how my girlfriend explained it to me as I ordered my first Delusional Martini; she looked at me with a raised eyebrow as she watched the bartender mix the concoction and said, “You really are on a mission tonight, aren’t you?” You betcha, I replied!

The reason for this plunge into denial was because of another let down from a guy. It is amazing how you can be cruising along in life and feeling great, and all of a sudden a person unexpectedly just drops in. They spend some time with you, you share interests, many many laughs and intimacy, then all of a sudden they are gone. Vanished into thin air, and in this case with the help of a plane. As I took a sip of the martini, every hair on the back of my neck stood up, then a slow warm burning sensation flowed down my body. As I savoured the faint hint of licorice from the ouzo, I knew the martini was exactly what I needed to rid myself of the frustration that I felt once again.

My frustration was from having met a great guy yet again, and then kissing him goodbye, yet again. I never asked for this. I was quite content doing my own thing, having the occasional one night stand and then grooving along in my very cool life. Why did he have to come along and make me realize how much fun and easy a truly great relationship could be? It was like an appetizer; you know at the first bite that the whole meal is going to be great, but then all of a sudden the restaurant catches on fire and you are forced to leave without ever getting to dessert. Damn, all I wanted was dessert! As I ordered my second martini, the mescal was starting to kick in and the warm fuzzy feeling of the delusional was taking over. Maybe I had imagined the whole thing. Maybe we were not as connected as I thought. Maybe he just wasn’t that into me after all. Could I have possibly been delusional the whole time? Who knew! Well, all I knew for sure was that I was starting to feel much better and suddenly there were several, very cute boys around. My totally optimistic girlfriend always attracted cute boys. It was because of her that I did not get completely out of control. She reined me in on the boys and stopped me from making another mistake. Gotta love a girlfriend who can talk you out of a bad, one night stand before it happens.

As she walked me home she explained to me that I had not imagined the whole thing, but the man had been brought into my life to make me realize that relationships are meant to be easy. That two people together are meant to be harmonious. This was a foreign concept to me because all my previous relationships had always been so much drama and hard work. She explained that this man had been a gift and a lesson, and that his leaving my life had absolutely nothing to do with me and that I could not control his decision. Even through the fuzzy haze of the Delusional martini, somehow this comment rang true. Did I want the truth or did I want another Delusional martini? It was a good thing we were on our way home.

There are times in your life when you just need to take a night off and delude yourself into believing that everything is okay. These nights are reserved for the Delusional martini. This martini has a very strong edge, but the sweetness of the licorice and melon make it drinkable. The Tequila and Mezcal give this martini a warm fuzzy feeling that can be felt throughout your entire body. Sometimes life lessons can be very frustrating and we end up asking ourselves why? When the frustration of life’s lessons becomes too great, it is always easier to turn to Delusion than to learn. However, when you break out the big gun and take the night off from your life, you always have to wake up the next morning. It is usually at this point when the lesson hits home and the why did this happen question is answered. Just remember that when you go looking for answers, you may not always like them, and all you can do is accept them and be grateful that you do not have to use the Delusional martini too often.

Intuitive thoughts by Marjie Martini