What kind of water girl are you?

What Kind of Water Girl Are You?  Yesterday when I was bending hair, I ended up having a conversation with one of my fellow stylists in the back room. (Lots of life problems get solved in the back room of a salon, it’s amazing what we can discuss while mixing color.)  She was heartbroken, her dick head boyfriend had just dumped her and she was in the process of beating herself up, trying to figure out what she did wrong to have him break up with her. But, what she didn’t realize is that she did nothing wrong, she was a passionate, fun loving, driven and free spirited woman. Her immature boyfriend loved her but he just didn’t have the strength our courage to stay with her.

I looked at her and gave her a huge hug and said, “Listen girlfriend, he is just weak he can’t handle being with an ocean girl. Don’t you worry, one day you will find your strong ocean guy! “

She looked at me like I was crazy (this happens fairly often) and replied, “What are you talking about?”

I smiled, “The Ocean girl, River girl, Lake girl Theory, it’s the explanation of what kind of women men love and the ones they marry.”

Her interested piqued, “Okay, tell me this theory, I’m listening.”

”Okay, it goes like this . . . and it’s actually based from the male perspective. There are three types of women in the world. There are

  1. Lake girls: they are the ones that love the stable life, nothing ever changes, and they are super placid, always ready and available to do whatever a man wants. They never create a ripple or stir in the relationship but overtime, lake girls are kinda boring and predictable. They are like a lake, the scenery never changes. Then there are
  2. River girls: they are the ones that are never satisfied with the guy in their life and they are always creating some kind of crazy drama. But the guys kinda like it, because they think they can save the River girl. However, over time the guys find it exhausting because the River girls are always swimming upstream, against the current, always in chaos. Then there are
  3. Ocean girls: they are the ones that are crazy in a good way, super fun, and great in bed always up for an adventure. Ocean girls are always going with the flow, they flow like the waves…they are super strong, determined and driven to succeed. But, they are also super emotional, spiritual and sensitive and when they wrap their wave of love around someone it can almost drown them or save them. The guys who love Ocean girls, sometimes bitch because they say that dealing with ocean girls is like getting pounded by an overhead six wave set, when you piss them off or they set their mind to something, there is no way of changing it, it is like talking to wall of water.“However, there is a serious issue with this theory and unfortuantly it’s totally true. It is that ALL MEN, love being with and hanging out with ocean girls! But, it takes a very strong man to stay with an ocean girl because when it comes down to it, they LOVE the sex and excitement but their egos can’t handle the fact that ocean girls don’t rely on them. So…they either, try and change the Ocean girl into a Lake girl but that eventually backfires or they just end up marrying a Lake Girl! Which leaves the Ocean girl broken hearted!”

I looked at my co-worker and squeezed her hand, she smiled as I said.

“So sweetie, this isn’t about him leaving you, it’s about you returning to the ocean, his ego can’t handle it! But, thank god! Because you would really suck as a Lake girl! And, we love you….so please continue to be the Ocean girl we know you are!


So, what type of ocean girl are you? Remember, we as women evolve and grow. Go with the flow and follow that current. All creeks, streams and rivers lead to the ocean, on your water journey use the eddies they will help you chill out and reflect but watch the f@&k out for the whirlpools they will spin you out every time!


Marjie Martini

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